$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
