I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
