help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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