Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she smelled like a LAN party
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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