You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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