I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Less talking, more tequila
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
