I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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