problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Randomize
