Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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