BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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