I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
worst night to have a conscience
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You made out with two different species that night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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