My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he thought i was a dude.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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