): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
