Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
