how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
