I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
