I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
