Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
