I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
