I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
