dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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