then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
