Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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