I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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