gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i think my cat just said my name.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
