Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
