Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
