VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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