Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
