Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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