i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
