Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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