that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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