Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
