ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I will be naked everywhere
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
as a side note pls kill me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
