Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
