I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
