she looked like the before picture.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
