Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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