he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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