we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
