Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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