Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
