eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
