For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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