i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize