How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
