Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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