My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize