whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
