If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
