I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
