I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
