just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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