I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
