I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
