I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
