We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
