Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is wine microwaveable?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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