my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
