she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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