i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
