Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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