I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
