escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize