His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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