his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
COCAINE IS GR8
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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