Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize