why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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