Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
