everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
These tits shall not be calmed
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