either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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