Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
