Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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